Season 1 Rewind

The Summary
This is the season where we get to know all of the friends, where Phoebe finds a thumb in her can of soda, where Joey gets cast as Al Pacino’s butt-double, becomes the poster boy for VD, and goes out with Phoebe’s twin sister, where Chandler gets stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre, where Ross falls into a grave, gets a monkey named Marcel as a pet, and dates a woman who he needs to “talk dirty” to, where Monica makes a dozen lasagnas for her aunt, and where Rachel convinces Monica to trade identities and has erotic dreams about Joey and Chandler.

The Famous Guest Stars
Christina Pickles as Judy Geller (The One with the Sonogram at the End, The One Where Nana Dies Twice, The One with the Fake Monica
Elliott Gould as Jack Geller (The One with the Sonogram at the End, The One Where Nana Dies Twice, The One with Two Parts
Jill Connick as Jill Goodacre (The One with the Blackout)
Hank Azaria as David (The One with the Monkey)
Morgan Fairchild as Nora Bing (The One with Mrs. Bing)
Fisher Stevens as Roger (The One with the Boobies)
Brenda Vaccaro as Gloria Tribbiani (The One with the Boobies)
Melora Hardin as Celia (The One with the Stoned Guy)
Jon Lovitz as Steve (The One with the Stoned Guy)
Leila Kenzle (The One with Two Parts)
Helen Hunt (The One with Two Parts)
George Clooney (The One with Two Parts)
Noah Wyle (The One with Two Parts)
Beverly Garland as Aunt Iris (The One with All the Poker)
Jennifer Grey as Mindy (The One with the Evil Orthodontist)
Claudia Shear as Fake Monica (The One with the Fake Monica)
Harry Shearer as Dr. Baldaharar (The One with the Fake Monica)
Jonathan Silverman as Dr. Franzblau (The One with the Birth)
Leah Remini as Lydia (The One with the Birth)

The Recurring Guest Stars
Jessica Hecht as Susan (The One with the Sonogram at the End, The One Where Underdog Gets Away, The One with the Dozen Lasagnas, The One with the Candy Hearts, The One with Two Parts, The One with the Birth)
Mitchell Whitfield as Barry (The One with the Sonogram at the End, The One Where the Monkey Gets Away, The One with the Evil Orthodontist)
Maggie Wheeler as Janice (The One with the East German Laundry Detergent, The One with the Monkey, The One with the Candy Hearts
June Gable as Estelle (The One with the Butt
Larry Hankin as Mr. Heckles (The One with the Blackout, The One with Two Parts
Cosimo Fusco as Paolo (The One with the Blackout, The One with Mrs. Bing, The One with the Dozen Lasagnas
Jane Sibbett as Carol (The One Where Underdog Gets Away, The One with the Dozen Lasagnas, The One with the Candy Hearts, The One with Two Parts, The One with the Birth)
Lauren Tom as Julie (The One Where Rachel Finds Out)

The Average Ratings
Creativity- 8.74
Humor- 8.67
Emotion- 8.51
Fun- 8.67
Overall- 8.75

Chandler- 8.48
Joey- 8.37
Monica- 8.73
Phoebe- 8.84
Rachel- 8.64
Ross- 8.78

The Best Best Lines
Ross (trying to cheer up Rachel): No, Aruba, this time of year? Talk about your... big lizards.

Ross (to his ex-wife, Carol): So what's new? Still...
Carol: A lesbian?
Ross: Well... (Pause) you never know.

Judy: Well, at least she had a chance to leave a man at the alter.
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Judy: Nothing. It's just an expression...

Susan: What's wrong with Helen?
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so...

Rachel: I should really get back to work.
Phoebe: Yeah... otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.

Monica: Phoebe, do you have a plan?
Phoebe: I don't even have a 'pl'...

Phoebe (when she sees Rachel's clothes are all pink): What a neat idea! All your clothes match... I'm gonna do this.

Phoebe (to Rachel's anxious behavior): What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?

Ross: Look, the role of Man #3 will not be played by Vic Shapiro. Well, we came on the wrong night.

Phoebe: I don't know... the exclamation point in the title scares me. It's not just 'Freud', it's 'Freud!'

Ross (discussing Monica's obsessive cleanliness): Oh, come on, when we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that was raggedy!

Joey: My weirdest place would have to be: the woman's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.
Monica: Oh my god! What were you doing in a library?!

Judy: What's with your hair? What's different?
Monica: Nothing.
Judy: Oh... maybe that's it.

Phoebe (at the funeral): God, what a great day. (Everyone looks at her) What? Weather-wise!

Ross: I'm off to Carol's.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?
Ross: Ooh, ooh! Because she's my ex-wife and will probably want to bring her "Ooh, ooh!" lesbian life partner.

Ross (while looking through Carol and Susan's bookshelf): Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.

Ross (talking about Marcel the monkey): My friend Bethel rescued him from a lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why, why would a parent name their child Bethel?

Chandler: I've got an idea! Dinner.
Ross: It's perfect! We'll put it between lunch and breakfast.

Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day. You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Ross: (Pause) Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area.

Chandler (when he finds out Joey knew about Ross and his mom's kiss): You knew about this?
Joey: You know, knowledge is a tricky thing...

Phoebe: It's nothing... I'm just... out of sorts.
Chandler: Well, you can use some of my sorts. I rarely use them.

Ross (after he and Monica beat Joey and Chandler at foosball): Well... looks like we kicked your butts.
Joey: No, no... she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.

Rachel: Okay, can we change the subject please?
Phoebe: Yeah. These are not her boobies, they are her breasts.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change...
Monica: You know, I always liked "bazoombas". It gives them a Latin spin.

Roger (to Chandler, while laughing): You're... funny... (laughter). He's so funny. Of course, I wouldn't want to be there when the laughter stops.

Janice: Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! JAA-NICE! JAA-NICE! And then you push me away, you pull me back! JAA-NICE! You want me. You need me. You... can't live without me. And you know it! You just don't know you know it.

Chandler: Ms. Tedlock... you're looking lovely today. May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.

Ross (watching log throwing on TV): You watch something like this and you realize... why evolution is just a theory.

Chandler: I don't have a dream!
Ross: Ah, the lesser known I don't have a dream speech.

Monica: You see... Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Rachel: Oh, I see, yes, and I've sort of been maintaining by amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics!
Chandler: You know... I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. Took home a bronze.

Joey: Hey, Pheebs, guess who we saw today?
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! Fun! Ooh... Liam Neeson!
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Morley Safer! The woman who cuts my hair!

Phoebe (playing Scrabble): If crunchy is a word, why isn't scrunchy?
Chandler: Okay, well I'm using the same argument for 'fligament'.
Monica: He can get really competitive.
Phoebe snickers.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Hello, kettle? Yeah, this is Monica. You're black.

Rachel: Guys, guess what, guess what, guess what?!?
Chandler: Okay, uh, the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?

Joey (looking at Monica's old yearbook picture when she was in The Sound of Music): Whoa, big nun.
Chandler: Yeah, I thought that was an Alp.

Monica: Rachel! What's going on? Isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
Joey: Duh! Where've you been?!

Barry (trying to get Mindy back): We'll go back to Aruba...
Rachel: What is it with you and Aruba? I mean, do you have like a deal with the airlines?

Joey: All right, I'll give you this... Mr. Peanut is a better dresser, I mean, he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
Phoebe: You know he's gay?
Ross: I just want to clarify this... are you outing Mr. Peanut?

Ross: You'd think you guys would be just a little more understanding, you know?
Phoebe: I know... but we're not.

Ross: It's my new beeper.
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it like for... dinosaur emergencies? 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct!'

Monica: What? I can't pass for twenty-two?
Phoebe: Well... maybe twenty-five, twenty-six.
Monica: I am twenty-six.
Phoebe: There you go!

Doctor: How are you doing with the contractions?
Carol: Oh, I love them! Each one's like a little party in my uterus!

Susan (after Phoebe has been lifted into a vent to escape from the locked room): What d'you see?
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.

Joey: I may have a couple beers in me already, but... I love you, man.
Chandler: I'm still on my first, so, uh... I just think you're nice.

Rachel (after unwrapping Oh the Places You'll Go, Joey's gift): ...it's a book!
Phoebe: Oh!! Dr. Seuss!!
Joey (sincerely): That book got me through some tough times.

Monica: You know what's great? That you already know everything about him! That'd be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Phoebe: But, you know... it'd be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Monica: Another good point.

The Classic Moments
Rachel comes running in from the pouring rain in a wedding gown. (The Pilot)
Ross gets hit by a hockey puck. (The One with George Stephanopoulos)
Ross and Rachel’s first “date” at the Laundromat (The One with the East German Laundry Detergent)
Chandler breaks up with Janice for the first time. (The One with the East German Laundry Detergent)
Chandler is trapped in an ATM vestibule with a Victoria’s Secret model. (The One with the Blackout)
A cat jumps on Ross as he tries to ask Rachel out. (The One with the Blackout)
Ross kisses his dead Nana and she comes back to life momentarily. (The One Where Nana Dies Twice)
Ross falls into an empty grave. (The One Where Nana Dies Twice)
Ross and Chandler’s mom kiss. (The One with Mrs. Bing)
Ross finds out he’s having a son. (The One with the Dozen Lasagnas)
Joey discovers his father is having an affair. (The One with the Boobies)
Chandler’s blind date arranged by Joey turns out to be Janice. (The One with the Candy Hearts)
Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica light the room on fire during their “boyfriend bonfire” (The One with the Candy Hearts)
Ross and Carol kiss (The One with the Candy Hearts)
Janice’s mini-monologue to Chandler (The One with the Candy Hearts)
Jon Lovitz’s turn as a stoned restaurateur (The One with the Stoned Guy)
Marcel escapes while Rachel is babysitting him (The One Where the Monkey Gets Away)
Monica stalks the woman who stole her credit card (The One with the Fake Monica)
Carol delivers the baby (The One with the Birth)
Chandler lets it slip that Ross is in love with Rachel (The One Where Rachel Finds Out)
Rachel goes to catch Ross at the airport, but is too late (The One Where Rachel Finds Out)

The Verdict
This was a stunning first season that ended in an apt yet heartbreaking way. As you can see from the ‘Best Lines’ and ‘Classic Moments’ sections, this season was not short on great humor. This was a terrific opening season, one of the best I’ve ever seen, but the great thing is that the following seasons do not slow down or get much worse. This is just the beginning of a fantastic ten-year run, dotted by the abiding love of Ross and Rachel. This show does not skimp on either humor or heart, and for that reason, I will keep coming back excitedly for every single episode still to come.